How To Help A Friend…
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At UCSB, you will find yourself interacting closely with lots of people. Whether you are living in a residence hall, or an apartment in Isla Vista, or even a house in downtown Santa Barbara, your daily interactions with other students will make you aware of their lives and choices. Thankfully, most of your interactions with others will be positive and the stuff of good memories years down the road. Occasionally, however, you may find yourself worried about another student because she or he is struggling or is in some kind of trouble. You may be worried because this person is your friend and you care about him or her, and/or this person's struggles may be impacting your own experiences in a negative way. Either way, you will probably want to take some kind of action.
It's important to remember that you are not "tattling"-if someone is in trouble, it may be your call that makes all the difference! The best aspect of being part of a community such as ours is that we demonstrate respect and understanding for each other. This includes reaching out to help someone in need. What follows is a list of helpful suggestions and services that you may want to utilize.
General Assistance
 You are surrounded by caring people who want to help all students be successful here. If you are not sure where to start, or if you want some support getting started, the following list of folks can be quite helpful to you-and it's all free! If you live in university-owned housing, you have trained and friendly staff who are there to help you. Don't hesitate to contact your Resident Director (RD), Assistant Resident Director (ARD), Resident Assistance (RA) or Resident Coordinator (RC). You can even talk about a hypothetical or anonymous situation if that feels easier to do. The folks in the Office of Student Life are also available to talk with you, and can help you sort out how to approach the situation-Candace Stevenson (candace.stevenson@sa.ucsb.edu), Miguel Lanier-Moran (miguel.moran@sa.ucsb.edu), and Britt Andreatta (britt.andreatta@sa.ucsb.edu are available Monday-Friday (893-4569). Finally, Burt Romotsky (burt.romotsky@sa.ucsb.edu, 893-3380) in Student Health is a very good person to meet with if you are worried about a person's physical or mental health. Also, don't forget that every student is assigned mentors/advocates as part of the Student Mentor Team. You will receive monthly emails at your umail account and you can email or make an appointment with your mentors for help with any situation (www.sa.ucsb.edu/osl/smt).
The sections below list campus personnel who specialize in specific areas. All of them are trained and are committed to helping students be as successful as possible.
Alcohol and Other Drugs
UCSB is still a school where a lot of students choose to drink and/or take other drugs. Some students are able to do so in a balanced manner and enjoy an active social life without experiencing a lot of detrimental effects. However, many students can find their physical health compromised and consequently their academic performance too. If you suspect that a friend is having a problem with alcohol or drugs, contact Ian Kaminsky (ian.kaminsky@sa.ucsb.edu) or Jackie Kurta (jackie.kurta@sa.ucsb.edu) at Student Health, 893-2630. They are both very friendly and can help you figure out how to approach your friend or could meet with your friend directly to talk about his or her experiences. They are trained counselors and are very good at helping students put together plans to be successful.
Eating Disorders
Our campus is on the beach in Southern California, which can bring a lot of body consciousness to the campus. Many students, both men and women, feel that looks are very emphasized in this student culture-unfortunately, this can create an atmosphere that moves students from just being concerned about their looks to being obsessed with them. This can happen to men and women. If you suspect that a friend has an unhealthy relationship with food and/or exercise, you may want to talk to Debbie McHann (debbie.mchann@sa.ucsb.edu ) or Besty Reynolds (betsy.reynolds@sa.ucsb.edu). Again, they can give you advice about how to approach your friend-they also provide one-on-one counseling to help people with disordered eating to return to a normal and healthy relationship with themselves. They are both located at Student Heath at can be reached at 893-2630.
Mental Health Issues
Unfortunately, the stresses of college often can take their toll on the mental health of college students. Some students come to college with a previously diagnosed mental health condition and are under the care of physician or psychiatrist. Others may develop symptoms for the first time while in college-depression and anxiety are quite common. Although mental health issues can be challenging, with the proper medication and therapy, students can be very successful in the college environment. However, occasionally a person can begin to have more severe problems that can seriously impede both academic and social success. Students may become too depressed to get out of bed or take proper care of their hygiene; some students may even begin to engage in self-mutilation (e.g., cutting themselves), or even threaten or attempt suicide. Needless to say, some of these situations, if left untreated, can seriously threaten a person's life, not to mention their college success. Unfortunately, the most severe symptoms can keep people from recognizing that they are in trouble because they have lost perspective. It's often in these cases that the roommate or friend realizes something is wrong but has a hard time convincing the person to seek help. If you find yourself in this situation, please reach out for help. You may even be saving your friend's life!
If the person is in immediate danger of hurting him or herself, call 911 and let the paramedics take over. If it's not that urgent, call Burt Romotsky (burt.romotsky@sa.ucsb.edu, 893-3380) in Student Health as he can help assess the situation and help connect the person to either the psychologists at Counseling & Career Services (893-4411) or the psychiatrists at Student Health. Although it normally takes a couple of weeks to get an appointment, urgent cases can be seen the same day or next day.
Sexual Assault
College campuses nationwide deal with the problem of sexual assault and UCBS is no exception. While some students may experience being assaulted by strangers, the vast majority of them (both male and female) are assaulted by someone they have previously met, even if only briefly earlier that night. In addition, there have been cases of the use of date rape drugs in Isla Vista and downtown. If you want to report an assault that has just occurred, call the Police (911) and/or the Rape Crisis Center (692-4011). They will be able to help you immediately. In addition, UCSB is very fortunate to have a wonderful woman named Carol Mosely (carol.mosely@sa.ucsb.edu, 893-3778) who helps assault survivors and their friends, roommates, and romantic partners deal with the after-effects of an assault. Whether or not the assault occurred at UCSB or even during the college years, Carol will meet with any currently enrolled student to help him or her move through what has happened.
Separate from helping your friend, it is also important to take care of yourself! This may sound selfish but it's very important. Some of the issues described above can be very upsetting to the friends and roommates of those directly affected. It might be affecting your ability to focus academically or even your comfort in your own living space. You matter too! Whether or not your friend decides to get help, it will be important for you to make sure you are able to be successful. All of the above resources are available for you too and we recommend talking with them first BEFORE you assist your friend. They can help you figure out how to take care of yourself as well as how to approach and support your friend. In addition, if your friend is in denial about needing help, she or he may not be receptive at first to your efforts. In these situations, it's always very helpful to have the support of others who know you are doing the right thing.
We hope that you never have to deal with these situations or call these programs. But in the event that you do, we wanted you to know where to go and who to contact. Remember, we are all part of a community and it sometimes takes the effort of several caring folks to help someone overcome a difficult challenge. Your efforts can not only make a difference for your friend but you and the rest of UCSB as well.
- Britt Andreatta,
Director of First-Year Programs & Leadership Education
- Candace Stevenson,
Student & Parent Liaison and Assistant to the Dean of Students
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